Remember

Persistent is a memory that lives inside the skin.

It ages you as it contorts with vexations.

A feeling of the past carving its way through sin.

You put it down, hide it deep within the trenches of your mind.

But the presence of this memory is never hard to find.

The body keeps the score as you wriggle and you strain.

The memory you poke and prod when you need to access pain.

There’s scar tissue bubbled up on an unwilling body.

There’s a guilt that creeps up on you when you least expect to let it in.

The throat tightens with this memory

The mouth had dried with your secrets in

The tears well up to your already stinging eyes.

You look up again and now you’re five 

Struggling under the weight of one man’s sin.

He’s supposed to be your family but this is no family exertion.

This is different, this is wrong. 

The thorns along your body as the action carries on.

Then it’s over, and he’s satisfied, before he starts again.

He ties a noose of secrets around your neck as you hang with them.

This memory is painful

This feeling is still potent

The stench that betrays your person as you focus.

Focus on the numbers

Count from one to five

Repeat these little numbers until I can open up my eyes

The air escapes my lungs

Breath so fast I cannot catch it

When little girls feel like broken glass but can’t express it.

I remember as a “survivor” always does

I remember because I feel “victim” in my blood.